“Sex” is a three-letter, one-syllable word that can make a lot of people squirm. However, learning to talk about sex itself can be an aphrodisiac as you communicate more about what you need and want; it can help you become a better partner and understand your partner’s moods and desires.

And what better time to talk about sex than Valentine’s Day?

Whether it’s too little or too much, orgasms, shifting interests, discomfort or basic anatomy, here are five tips for having a hearty, healthy talk about sex:
1)First determine what you need and want to talk about, so that you can be perfectly clear with your partner. You have to understand your body, emotions and desires first.
2)Start the conversation outside the bedroom. In a no-pressure, fully-clothed situation, you can focus on facts more than heat-of-the-moment emotions.
3)Ask questions – then listen. Even if you’re the one instigating the conversation, it’s important to understand your partner’s perspective, too.
4)Don’t forget the positive. Try to avoid blaming and attacking and give your partner some positive feedback, even if it’s something as simple as, “I appreciate your interest in sex” or “I like it when you take things slow.”
5)Offer time and space. If your conversation is simple (wanting to try a new position), you might come to clear agreement in a few minutes, but if the issue is more complex, then respectfully give your partner a little time and space to absorb and reflect.

Even couples who have been married for decades struggle to talk about sex, however, practice does make perfect!

And remember, you can always talk to your doctor about any sex or reproduction issues you’re having – that’s what we’re here for.